Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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I'm gay.

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ME NAME IS JEFF

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

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I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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