what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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Walking down a cold, lonely, deserted street is a 10 year old who lost her parents. she has with her in plain sight her fathers wallet, so full of cash that it is literally too full. all of a sudden, a black man with a gum jumps out from around the corner. he then proceeds to mug her and shoot her. thanking the man for playing cops with her using finger guns, she goes home with a new coffee mug and a stick of gum. she died three days later from unrelated incidents.

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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Walnut

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What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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Elizabeth Warren

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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