Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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Q:Why did the old man die? A:Because he had Cancer in his hole body.

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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A train poops its pants.

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wots brown and smells like shite shite

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops