i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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An Artic Storm.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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how did the man die he didnt

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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soccer

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so the weather's nice...

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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