what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between Christians and Jews? The Holocaust. The Holocaust is the difference.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Gustavo Andrade

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did john say to bob Hey bob

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops