Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

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Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

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why did the black man die? the man bled out, and doctors did everything they could.

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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all jokes aside...

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops