how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

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But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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