on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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Your mom as so fat that I'm gonna give you the name of this doctor because I really care for you...... And don't want to see you so stressed because she is so fat.

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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What is funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there? Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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