How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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?Three men walk in to a bar. one walks with a limp. The other two make fun of him and joke of his inability to walk as well as others around him.

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a Polar bear in an Igloo.

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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