Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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A man was shot. He died.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

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What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

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Robin, Get in the Car

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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Yo mama so poor, she can't afford luxuries

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What do you call a man who was just struck in the head with a bowling ball? An ambulance would be the most appropriate thing to call since this man just sustained a serious head injury and medical responders should be contacted, lest his brain start hemorrhaging.

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what do you call a black man in a car? -a person who passed his drivers test

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What happens when you yank on someones nuts? They cry

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

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Wanna here a joke? To bad you can't your black.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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