Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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Sarah Palin

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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