Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

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if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

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I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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