What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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Robin, get in the car!

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19.

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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Why was i said when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Roses are black Violets are too I am a dog I don't know how to rhyme

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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