Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Antijokes...

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it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Yo Momma is so fat she is at risk of contracting Type 2 Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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