I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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