So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

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What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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Your face

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Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

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How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

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A convict is ripping out stop signs .. and a police comes out of no where and screams "What are you doing?!" The guys says Ripping up stop signs..

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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Stephen Walking hawks into a bar.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops