A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

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Knock knock. Who is their? Grammar. Grammar who? Of course you don't know.

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... i forgot the joke :p

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Why did? Yes

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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Does an Anti-Joke need to have an ironic punch line? ...

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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