What did the 10 year old luekemia patient get for christmas? Dead parents

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What do you call a creepy person trying to break into your house? A robber

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? HIVs.

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

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Hail Heetluh

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What Do you call a black priest? Holy shit!

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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