A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

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rarw

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Keanu Reaves

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

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what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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Why did the farmer name his pig "ink"? He had a terrible case of dementia.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops