What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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Ju... Just why?

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Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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