what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

Anyone??????????/

A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

If you don't see any banners here, it doesn't mean they aren't here.

Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

How do you hold someone in suspense?

Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

taking out the trash... at night

You know what's catchy? A cold

What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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