How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

thumb_up thumb_down +3

cchina is communist the USA isnt WHY?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

ask me if im deaf. are you deaf? ...............

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops