get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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Gay Rights

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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