What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once upon the time.... It was 12 o´clock

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What did the blind deaf orphan get for Christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? roger rabbit while hilarious, was an idiot and framed himself....mind F***.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black person with dandruff.... A lamington

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man was having problems with his computer, so he called customer service. An Indian man, by the name of Muhammad picked up the phone. This came of no surprise to the man, because Muhammad is the most common name in the world. The man soon found and fixed the problem on his computer and hung up.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats the difference between you're mom and you're dad none there both the same

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why John isn't smiling? Becouse he died yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What does Harry Potter love? Magic

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops