Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

Why was the man crying in prison? He missed his family and wanted to go home.

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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