What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

*spongebob voice* 25

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

thumb_up thumb_down +34

That's not what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops