Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I told you it would happen

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A hispanic walks down the street. ICE quickly arrests him, as he is here illegally. 5 months after deporting, he crosses the southern US border to try again.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you start a stamped in mexico roll a nickle down the street sad thing is you just lost a nickle

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Tell you something funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops