Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the gay kid beaten to death Because he was also an outstanding racist and lived in a highly populated african american community.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mums a penis joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Black People.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Bob dole

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A woman walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

shut up iggy

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did batman say to robin? get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops