Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted of in space.

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercorse? I have aids

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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Nero the guy that killed four Neo Nazi`s desecrating the funeral of one of my late members in Chile with a revolver hidden in one of the 46 hidden pockets on the inside of his trench jacket with lots of folders here, inside whose only side effect is making me look like I spend a lot more time at the gym, later one of them found me, ran towards the police which laughed at him pointed at me and said: That guy with a prosthetic arm? You dont believe me... Excellent! Nero The Avenger

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wat is the difference between rainbows and poop? I LOVE RAINBOWS!

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How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who is it? Wood pecker. Wood pecker who? KNOCK! KNOCK!

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Penis

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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