How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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FUCK YOU NEVEN

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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