Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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Why was the Mexican socially inept. Because he hadn't recieved a good education

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Patriarchy.

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

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Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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