Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

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What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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A man walks into a bar... "Ouch"

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modern love

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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A ginger was with his friends

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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What did the Black guy, the Asian, and the White guy have in common? they were all brutally murdered.

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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Q.whats long, black and hard to cut through? A.a line at kfc!

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there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops