how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

Knock Knock! Well come on in!

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

A man walks into a bar. I forgot the rest of the story but the punchline goes something something something something your mom is wwhore.

Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

Women's rights.

So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

my whole life!

which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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