What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

your mom died.

Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

0 + 0 = 0

Theres a man with 2 eyes.

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

hi

hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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