What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

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knock knock who is there? Jehovah's Witness... IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door. Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you. In most ways Jehovah's Witnesses are like everyone else. They have normal problems—economic, physical, emotional. They make mistakes at times, for they are not perfect, inspired, or infallible. But they try to learn from their experiences and diligently study the Bible to make needed corrections. They have made a dedication to God to do his will, and they apply themselves to fulfill this dedication. In all their activities they seek guidance from God's Word and his holy spirit.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

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joke

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Billy Cundiff.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

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What is funny about family guy?the jokes

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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What's worse than some one spitting in your food Hitler revealing he's actually a Jew

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What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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