Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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what's brown and sticky? A stick

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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Your mums a penis joke.

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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