- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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