A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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Get in the car.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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400 asian people walked in a bar

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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