Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

Bob fell off his roof.

I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

obamas trench

what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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