Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

what do you call a white guy on a bus load of blacks guys? probably his name...

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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