Hey we just met And this is crazy But my name's Kony And I stole your baby

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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What did the boy do when he got an F on his English paper? -Laughed.

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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A mans opinion.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

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How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What do you call a girl with one leg at your door step? Ilean

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Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

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So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

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whats purple and savage? Barney!

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Whats the diffrence between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes back from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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