If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So a blonde woman gets into her car. She then drives to the grocery store because she is hungry and wants to buy food to make her dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing duplicates of the top jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

brandon ya twwat

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I ponder

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many Ethiopian's can you fit in a bathtub? As many as you want, they'd all fall down the drain. JimBoto

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Whose there? Me! Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops