Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How old is your mom? Old.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops