What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

How old is your mom? Old.

what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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