A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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hi my name is matt mckeon and i like renata saggy tits !!!!!

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how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was to busy watching porn. And then was hit by a truck.

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Yeah right loser!

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When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

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Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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captcha: all yer base

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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