Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

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69

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem makes no sense FIRETOE!!!

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Donald Trump

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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