What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I'm off to my tank guys!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In the movie Inception, what does the man do after he thinks about calling out to his children so he could see them one last time? The man calls out to his children.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mama's so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops