"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than eating cows. Death

thumb_up thumb_down +9

yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: wanna hear a racist joke? A: sure RB: You're pathetic!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is pi? Because circles.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock, Who's there? Billy. Billy who? Billy your next door neighbor, I need to borrow some sugar. Ok, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Rigo your a stupid ass

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops