A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +10

lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

you know what is so funny?! jokes..................................

thumb_up thumb_down +10

yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you take a Mexican's money? You can't because they have none.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops