What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

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A man walks into a bar. I forgot the rest of the story but the punchline goes something something something something your mom is wwhore.

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elliot forsythe is a paedo

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You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What is a chair?

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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Theres a man with 2 eyes.

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Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

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The BCS

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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Your mumma is so stupid her IQ is 40.

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i can't stand cripple jokes

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops