Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

I share two rooms with my mother.

What do you call two black men in bed? Twix

Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

wanna here a dirty joke? Suree A white horse fell in a mud puddle dum dumdum dum duuuuuuummmm

What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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