Why was the Asian so good at ping-pong? Disciprine.

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A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

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What's more annoying than a mosquito? the Sandy Hook Massacre

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Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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I died shortly after writing this.

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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