Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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vaginas

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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i like pie.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Take off your shoes.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops