A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An Asian walks out of the library.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Fox News.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the children in India eat for dinner?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

learn the ropes?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops