Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

Yes!

What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

The biggest joke in anti-joke are these two MOST FAVED What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. +17662 likes MOST HATED whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven -1714 dislikes GUESS WHAT : they are both jew jokes

why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

knock knock ... no one was in

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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